Kannazuki no Miko: Fragments of Memory
by Syein
Summary: Chikane is a famous renowned musician. However, she is no longer pertained her original feeling and personality. Himeko is the only one who regained all her memories as she struggles to get closer to her beloved.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Kannazuki no Miko.

#1 reason for me to created KnM fanfic: To motivate other people to create one. Excuse my verbs tense and sentence structure. English not my main leh. This fic is inspired by many other fanfic authors.

I was curious how the story will turn out if I were to use first person. But anyhow, if I'm not comfortable with it, I will switch back and forth.

**WARNING**: Extremely OoC for Chikane (Ye! The Chikane that hates Himeko is an OoC Chikane), I think Himeko will come off a bit OoC as well.

Yes, I will continue to finish my other story. But this one just suddenly popped up, so before I forgot it or lose my motivation, I wrote this down just in case. This one hasn't been proofread or re-read. This one was uploaded on a whim, it has no thought out ending nor general outline plot, so read at your own risk.

Ch.1 Edit: For the sake of storyline, I changed Chikane's name into something else. I searched for it by looking up any Japanese name that related to moon. (I don't know any Japanese~)

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><p>Ch.1<p>

It was a morning sunlight, the street are crowd as usual. One could hears the traffic jam and cars honking all over the places. Tokyo is a busy city with everyone's walking speed are highly fast due to their punctuality. As for me, I'm kind of a late person. Obviously right now I'm running late for my appointment with Mako-chan. I think my best friend already gotten used to it, but it's still embarrassing and I don't want to give any excuse.

But what is this…I halted on my track when I behold the sight bestowed upon me, it is a beautiful woman with wavy blue hair, slender figure, tone porcelain skin. I couldn't see her eyes' colors as it covered with a very dark sunglasses. What grabbed my attention the most is the pendant around her neck, the same one as me, it's a pink seashell hanging on that thin string that ignited a series of nostalgic fragments of remembrance. I knew her…my beloved, my life, my other half, my angel, my goddess…

I began to sobbed, I couldn't control these emotions overflowing into me that threatened to explodes from within. She is still the same as ever, still carrying that graceful, elegance, and her dignify way of showing herself.

I was surprised when she stopped on her track and looked at me, perhaps she remembers me? How happy I am as I could felt myself literally dancing on cloud ninth.

Oh Chikane-chan… I love you so much…I miss you so much… I need you so much….

I ran toward her and embraced her tightly yet still gentle enough as to not hurt her. I nuzzled my face into her chest to let her scent flows into me, I wish this warm could last forever.

But what do I know, she shoved me away harshly. Before I could registered what happening, I looked at her in shocked. Her complexion right now are of …annoyed … irritated… and disgusted!?

_I don't get it? _

_Why!? _

It hurt…why did she made that expression? I felt millions of needles piercing through my heart when I looked at her. Even though I couldn't see her eyes clearly, she definitely frowning.

She looked at me as if I am some…pest! It is the face of how one would looks at a roach crawling into their house. I am an annoyance to her?

I saw her hand clenched on the top middle of her one-piece white dress. Ah! My tears must had lingered there. Maybe that's why she was mad. I see…I could apologize to her.

As I was about to apologize, she cuts me off sternly. "Please, I'm on a break here…leave me alone." She said, and her voice is so cold, so indifference, it sent shiver down my spine. I don't like this Chikane-chan….I really don't.

She left the intersection road on to the other side. She didn't even bother to looks back at me. I tried to follow her, but the cars' honking forced me went to the other side as it is closer to where I came from.

When the pedestrian light turned white again, I lost track of my beloved. I tried to searches for her but to no avail, the street are crowd again, and I was in a complete worn out state.

I finally remember my appointment with Mako-chan, I ran frantically to our meeting place whilst searching for several excuses inside my head. Just like I thought, she was mad as she sat with both her arms crossed on her chest. Her face frowned into an upside down U. I groaned inwardly since I'm about to face one hell of a scold.

Right now Mako-chan and I are sitting in a family restaurant, that what we usually did when we decided to go shopping together. We are the best of best friend. Mako-chan currently going out with Souma-kun, you could say I am their matchmaker.

Souma-kun is my childhood friend, he got rejected by me once, at that time I didn't know who was it that I'm waiting for, but now I do, it was Chikane-chan! I felt bad and since Mako-chan herself seemed to be interests in Souma, I tried to arrange their meeting and somehow they seemed fits together. I'm glad I did, now my best friend and childhood friend are a loving couple, I couldn't be happier for them.

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><p>"Sooooo…what took you so long!?" Mako-chan slammed on the table that made our drinks spilling out.<p>

I winced, she can be scary sometime and I know today is totally my fault. I shared with her almost everything, down to how I felt at school, and how tired my part time job is, and other matters. She talked to me a lot about her crush, her love life, and now she mostly talked about Souma. Our conversation topics are varied. She did asked me how long am I going to stay single, it been twenty-one years already for gods sake.

Some random people tried to hit on me and I avoided them like a plague because I knew right away that they are not the one I been waiting for. I could just felt it. Mako-chan doesn't seemed to get my hint when she kept dragging me to some dance club or matchmaking session. Even though she had Souma, she still did it for my sake. Souma-kun knew of course, the man himself also worried about me. They both fear I am going to waste my life chasing after an illusion, a dream, someone that never exists in the first place.

Well, they are wrong, and today just proved it. I had met Chikane-chan despite how cold she is to me, I still can't give up. Just knowing that she existed is enough to keeps my hope up. I lost track of her now, but I will continue searching for her, I just know that she's in Tokyo. Hopefully she won't move somewhere else already. Even if she does, I'm willing to travel across the globe just for her.

"Hi-me-ko!" Mako-chan voiced in staccato, she had been patiently waiting for me all this morning because I was late, and now I'm daydreaming right in front of her, oop…

"I'm sorry Mako-chan…" I apologized, but apparently I missed her first question and it only made her head turned into steam.

She sighed, she knew I'm a dork anyway and concentration is not my strong suit. I'm surprised how we became best friend, our personalities seemed to be mismatched. But she is fun to hanged around with, the person that been supporting me all this time and I owned her a lot.

"So…what took you so long?" She tried again.

"Umm…" I'm fidgeting nervously, my cheek is a slight flush as I recalled the encountered with my goddess. But then the thought of Chikane-chan's expression at that time made me furrowed my eyebrows. Maybe I will feel better if I tell Mako-chan everything. And I did.

I told her about the meeting with my special someone, I told her about the indifferent attitude the woman gave me and it's hurt. However, I couldn't describe how glad I am when I saw my goddess again. If she actually returns my hug and remembers me, I would be in heaven.

Mako-chan is a good listener, after listened to my rambling on and on about how beautiful and majestic my goddess is, now she just biting on her straw and made a bubbling sound in her drink.

"Are you serious…?" She said.

"I am serious." I confirmed.

"Umm…look Himeko, you wait for someone for all these years and they rejected you just like that?"

"Yep!"

"Yep my ass!" Mako-chan smacked me in the forehead then she wrinkled her eyebrows contemplating what to do with me. Then finally she stared at me in disbelief and said a hurtful truth. "You wasted your precious twenty-one years for that!?"

"B-but I won't give up!" That's right, my goddess just doesn't know me well enough yet. If I could show her how much I love her.

Mako-chan heaved a resigned sigh. "So what are you planning to do now?"

"I will find her and propose to her, and then we will marry and go to our hone-" A hand raised to my face, signaled me to stop. Mako-chan's face now turned serious.

"What if she really doesn't love you?"

"I will not give up!"

"You got to respect someone's rejection Himeko…Just like how Souma respected yours." Mako-chan seemed to notices my hurt expression, and she regretted spouting it out with her hand clasped on her mouth murmuring an apology, but I know what she said is true. It would be a problem for me if Souma continues to pursue me even though I already rejected him. I should not do the same for Chikane-chan.

"I'll stay away from her if there is really no chance she'll come back to me…"

Mako-chan raised an eyebrow at my statement. "Come back to you?"

"Uh..! Ah…I-I mean-" I forgot she didn't know about our past life and our promise. But really…what will happened if Chikane-chan is no longer in love with me anymore? No, I don't believe it!

"It's nothing Mako-chan, I'll search for her…and that's all I can do right now, I mean there's no point in me being all pessimistic about it right? I'm not even sure about her feeling yet, I just met her today…" _Just today in this lifetime. _

Mako-chan looked at my face, her chin rested on her hand, then she sat up and put her both hands on my shoulders. She gripped my shoulders firmly as if to channels all the motivation in it. "I don't really know her, but I will cheer you on…somehow the way you said she spurned you, I'm already got a bad impression of her already, but if that is your choice, I won't stop you, j-just don't waste your lifetime choice on the wrong person ok?"

I am moved. My mouth turned into a whimper at her words. At least she didn't tease me this time.

I hugged Mako-chan, she is indeed my best of best friend after all. I felt better when talking to her all about my problem. Seriously though, in this life and previous life, she was always there to supports alongside me. "Thank Mako-chan!" Sometimes her teasing is quite endless that often time it showered me with embarrassment, but maybe it was just a way for her to cheer me up. Another thing that I love about her, I am amused she never question me on how my special someone is a woman.

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><p>She hate having the presence of another person on her stuffs. It was just tears but the thought of it brought a distasted in her. Her white dress was a present from her cousin, she quite like it, but now she just wanted to takes it off and throw it in the laundry or possibly in a garbage can. She halted on her track in that intersection because a blonde was crying while staring at her. She felt like she did something wrong or something, oh how she regretted stopping on her track. That blonde was probably just another one of her obsessive fan.<p>

She can't handle any intimacy with other people, she doesn't have mysophobia. Her parents raised her up to age eight when she decided to avoids them and slept in her own separate room. She used to be a wailing monster when other people picked her up or nuzzled her. Until they putted her down that she stopped. Her parents realized this condition might be a problem so they advised her to seek out a therapist. They even arranged several omiai for her but she shot them all down without even meeting said person. For twenty one years she lived with no attraction to anyone whatsoever. It's been thirteen years since someone had touched her like that, not to mentioned that blonde woman was literally pressed her face right into her bosom. The thought itself shuddered Chikane.

She went to a therapist and the man asked her all random questions about herself, and he even asked about her dream. Dream? Well, it's not like she remembers any of them. His conclusion is that she might be identify as an asexual or someone with haphephobia. But really, she is not afraid of touching, she just hates it. So maybe the former suited her better, or it just merely her personality. She doesn't like being question, but for the sake of those who raised her, she complied this once. She rolled her eyes indicating how bothersome this is and just wanted thing to hurry up and be done with. Her therapist seemed to get the hint well.

_"Have you ever saw someone and think to yourself that he or she is attractive?"_

_"No"_

_"Do you have trouble getting others to be as close as you want them to be?"_

_"No"_

_"Do you remember any of your dreams?"_

_"No" _

_"Have you ever worry about others abandoning you?"_

_"No"_

_"Have you ever engage in any sexual relationship before?"_

_"No..." _

_"Have you ever thinking about engage in a sexual relationship with anyone at all?"_

_"No!" _

_"How do you feel when someone touched you?"_

_"Disgusting."_

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><p>I just moved into a new apartment because of my college transferred for pursuing my career. I am a painter, to some other people it's not considered a job unless you are very skill with it, otherwise a lot of people advised me not to be too serious about it. I'm glad I didn't follow their advice. My arts are exceptional and it managed to got me some nice bucks. The money are used to spend on my exhibition, buying new materials, paying rent, and other stuffs, the rest I saved it in my bank. Most importantly, I love my job.<p>

I kept photography as one of my hobby, and occasionally there will be people who called me to take pictures for them. I only worked as freelance because I don't like being bound by contract. The rest of the time I spent on painting stuffs. I noticed that a lot of my sketches and paints had been related to a certain lady that I can't quite make out her face, but oh wow, I should have guess that was Chikane-chan now that I think about it.

As for Mako-chan, she and Souma-kun are the only two people that been supported me in pursuing my career. Mako-chan fulfilled her dream for her athlete career and she is one of Japan's representative to attended the next Olympic. Souma-kun went to law school and it will took him another three years in education to reached his end goal. I'm so proud of them, I can't believe someone like me had such amazing friends.

Right now Mako-chan and I shopping for some more stuffs, she bought some clothes for her next anniversary with Souma while I just bought my art materials. We rest at a cafe, occasionally I would looked around in case I spot my goddess again. Mako-chan been reading a magazine while sipping her ordered drink and eating her parfait. I never read them nor any newspaper for that matter. I been concentrated on my works and searching for my special someone that I ended up being old-fashion.

Oh look, Mako-chan just ordered another parfait, it amazed me how sweet her tooth is. She probably burned all the calories with her track and field practice. Ah...somehow I'm jealous since I'm not much of an athlete. I like sweet thing too, but not too much of it.

"Man...I never have the chance to get these tickets" Mako-chan complained. The magazine she been reading was the latest one on the cafe shelf.

"What tickets?" I asked, assuming it was a theater play or some circus show.

"This! This! The tickets are always sold out before I got to them! My favorite musician." Mako-chan turned the magazine in front of me. My eyes widened at the beautiful figure of my goddess. She was in a gorgeous dress and sat on a grand piano with closed eyes. she looked so magnificent.

"So this is where you are..." I murmured.

"What?"

"I found her Mako-chan..." I stared at the magazine as if I just found a huge treasure. "She is the one I'm talking about!" I pointed at my goddess's picture and sure enough, Mako-chan's eyes popped out in perplex.

"Are you serious...?" She asked.

I rolled my eyes, that again. "I am serious, very serious."

"Wow Himeko, Tsukiyo Himemiya is extremely popular, oh gosh, someone lucky if she even pays attention to you at all. How do you even plan to get close to her? whatever you did in your past life, it must be veryyy bad because I could totally see the gods hating you right now."

_Oh you never know. _I groaned a smile awkwardly. Maybe it was a blessing in my last life to have someone like Chikane-chan fell in love with me. Maybe I already burnout my blessing, and this time the gods punishing me because I killed Chikane-chan? hmm, I deserved it. As for _Tsukiyo_, I guess that is her name in this life, to think that my whole name stayed the same for two lifetimes, likewise for all the people around me.

"Umm...a way to sneak in?"

"You think no one tried that before?"

"Ambush her when she's alone?"

"Like I said..." Makoto face-palmed.

I'm not very good at devise a plan. I usually just do thing without thinking it through and it served my purpose most of the time. But obviously, this is a tough case.

"Ok!" Mako-chan clapped her hand. "Listen, I'll ask Souma to use his connection for a ticket ok? Just use it and do the best of your abilities to get close to her!"

"Eh..but I don't want to bothe-"

"No but! Since we're going to help you, just sit back and appreciate it."

I clamped up, glad that Mako-chan willing to help me on this one. Otherwise, I think I'll turn into one of those extreme fans that always hanged around Chikane-san in our past life, and that would bothered her to no end.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kannazuki no Miko.

You are welcome to fix my grammars.

If anyone didn't notice, I changed Chikane's name into something else for the sake of storyline.

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><p>Ch.2<p>

Lucky for me, Souma-kun managed to get one ticket from his friend who worked for the concert's backstage. He had a beam in his face saying _'finally you found that someone! Congratulation etc'_. Mako-chan must had told him the entire story. He realized said person is a woman, but he didn't question much about it, merely surprised but congratulated anyway. Whoever had better friends than I.

I don't even know if I'm a lesbian or bisexual, but I only love Chikane-chan, not other men or women, I guess that make me a lesbian. My past reincarnation had allowed me to love her even before I learned to walk, to hold such a feeling to someone I never even met is a mysterious thing. Often time, I am confused, to love someone without knowing their gender, age, identity, nor physical appearance. I think it would be a serious problem if my special person reincarnated into a... non-human creature. Honestly, I won't know what to do then, whoever said you can pertained your original form from previous life. Though, none of that matter now, I found her, I love Chikane-chan because she is Chikane-chan.

I used to attract to Souma-kun, but when the feeling I hold for that 'special someone' had far exceed the feeling I held for other people around me, I realized my attraction was just a simple admire. Now that I think about it, I can't believe I mistook such feeling for love in my past life. That was an idiotic mistake.

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><p>The concert will start at 6 PM, thank goodness I have nothing to do during that time. Now, to think over how am I going to approach Chikane-chan after the concert. I noticed a lot of fans already waiting outside, even though the event won't start for another 2 hours. <em>Well, I'm not that different from them. <em>

I went to the front then to the back, circling outside the auditorium. I couldn't get in, the security guards are placed on every entrances. Maybe I should just wait for the concert time. _And then what? _

Figured I have nothing to do beside just standing among the fans, I went to a sweet shop and ordered an ice cream. Sometimes indulgent is not a bad thing.

Inside the shop, I immediately felt it, that similar presence, I looked around and just like I thought, my goddess was sitting in the far corner table with a newspaper in front of her. She dressed...in a strange outfit, it's a long black coat, dark flat cap, long blue one piece dress with wide calf boots. Is she in disguised?

There were groups of fans sitting around. Some were talking about Chikane-chan, as expected, they stopped by this shop to wait for the concert time just like me. Am I the only one who noticed Chikane-chan? None of those fans seemed to be aware of her.

I took a deep breath and approached my goddess. My whole body is tense, I wondered how she'll react toward me. She didn't notice me yet. I slowly sit down from across her, it took all of my courage just to muster a greeting. "N-Nice to see you again." I croaked.

She immediately lower her newspaper, I couldn't see her eyes again with that huge sunglasses, but I could tell she was surprised. Her tone held that same coldness as our first meeting. "Ah...you again."

It was bitter, but the happiness I felt just to hear her voice overcame it. At least I'm glad she remembered me, I don't know if it a bad or good thing. I gave her the most genuine smile I had ever given to anyone- It doesn't seem to jolt her memory.

I looked at her and thought to myself. _It_ _doesn't matter how ridiculous her outfit is, she still looks so marvelous. _

I wanted to see her eyes... I didn't manage to see it the first time. My hand was already moving before my mind could stop it. I leaned up and reached toward her sunglasses and slowly took it off.

There it is, her sapphire eyes, that beautiful eyes that could seen through me so easily in our past life, that beautiful eyes that looked at me with so much passion, so much caring, so much gentle, and all the love that poured there...now disappeared. All I could felt now is your cold eyes looking at me in revulsion.

"I'm sorry..." I said, my hand is trembling whilst still holding her sunglasses, this is not my Chikane-chan at all.

She snatched her sunglasses back forcefully from my hand, not that I mind...

She sat up and wrinkled her eyebrows with one intense last look at me before she steps out of the shop, maybe she planned to burn a hole in my head, to test if I could die from it.

This time I know for sure that she clearly hates me. _It's alright_, I told myself. I still have the concert to attend, maybe I can get another chance there. She didn't completely reject me yet, maybe my action was rude. I could see why. I hugged her right when we first met and now I took off her sunglasses without permission. Any stranger would be agitated by it. _Yes...to her I am a stranger._

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><p>It is now 6 PM. As soon as the gate opened, everyone got inside and I could hear the yelling of Chikane-chan's fans. I recognized those three girls during my past life, what was their name again, I forgot. I think I better avoid them, they are quite scary, to think they are still Chikane-chan's fans in this life as well. That's quite a dedication so to speak, at least they are satisfied with just watching her from a far.<p>

The concert began to start. I sat on the right front corner, even though I will see Chikane-chan clearly in the front row, I'm jealous of whoever took the front middle seat. All the lights dimmed black and the red curtain parted it way displaying a grand piano. I could heard footfalls walking on the wooden floor of the stage, as Chikane-chan made her entrance with her gorgeous black dress unlike the one she wore in the sweet shop, everyone started clapping, some yelling of the fans and whistles even though she hasn't even perform yet. Then the sounds died down, everyone are now quiet to allow the musician to stretch her fingers a bit before she put them on her keys.

Then she started to play. It is a fast piece. While I know nothing about music, it felt…perfect. Yes, it is amazing. Yes, it is fluent. Yes, it is full of virtuosity. However, the song left me with nothing but emptiness. I couldn't feel my Chikane-chan, if I can't see her on that very stage right now, I would have thought this is an entirely different person playing.

I remember the time when she played for me in that Himemiya mansion. She putted a candle next to her grand piano, her music was for me and me only, I felt all giggly inside, I never know she was such a romantic person then. I thought she will never leave me again. She did her very best to please me, she dressed in a maid outfit, brought the foods to me, and accompanied me throughout the night. At that time, it was our last moment when she officially became an Orochi and shoved her letter in my cleavage.

I don't want to let her go again, but why Chikane-chan…we did promised right?

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><p>The concert finally over, everyone stood up and clap, those fans that occupied the whole right section seats yelling loudly as they practically sprinted through the back entrance in hope of meeting Tsukiyo Himemiya. The guards are having a hard time blocking them.<p>

I sat still in my seat unable to comprehend anything. I wondered if I got the wrong person, maybe this is not my Chikane-chan after all, just a lookalike with the same last name, same presence, same walking styles, same aura but different in everything else? Now that just sound ridiculous.

I sat up and went to the back entrance, as expected, a mass of people huddled there waiting to ambush Chikane-chan, there are also another groups on the right exit and left exit. Even if I'm wait here, chance are I can't meet Chikane-chan at all. Not to mention her first impression of me ended quite disastrous.

A figure went passed me, is it a man? No wait a woman. The person had their hair tucked up in a cap, wore a big jacket, black pants and tennis shoes. There it is again, that same sunglasses and no matter how much she tried to hid it, there no way I could mistook that presence even if she in the midst of all those fans as she getting through them. I ran after my goddess and grabbed her hand whilst calling out her name. "Chikane-chan!"

She stopped and turned her head to see me. I was afraid to see her expression again. Yes, it definitely a frowned, but this time it was accompanied with a puzzling look.

I gasped, I just called her Chikane-chan but not her given name in this life time. "I-I mean Tsuki-"

No, I don't want to abandon the name Chikane-chan. The name that I called so much in our past life, the name that stuck at the tip of my tongue, the name that I never fail to caressed in every moments that I met her again, and I felt such an aversion if I am to call her in any other name than my Chikane-chan.

"Chikane-chan." This time I did not averted my gaze, I looked through her sunglasses and I could see the sapphire eyes behind it. It looked at me with such intensity and it intimidated me, but I did not let go of her hand.

"I see you mistook me for someone else." She muttered, I gotten used to her cold tone by now and it made less of an effect on me compared to our first meeting, but I could still felt that same jolted of pain.

"No…It is you, there's no way I could mistook you for anyone else." I gripped her hand more firm and I could felt her trying to yank it away from mine. Now I seemed like some extreme obsessive fan that wouldn't leave her alone. I felt like a villain or some type of creepy stalker that used force to keep her on track.

"Let me go or I'll call the security." Her tone is hoarse and scary, she narrowed her eyes to meet my amethyst one, never in my life would I imagine Chikane-chan looking at me in the way that she did now. I let go of her hand, allowing my flood gate to burst open.

She just stared at me dumbfounded. I don't want to inconvenient her, but I couldn't stop, because it hurt, it hurt so much. I tried to wipe my tears away before I realize that I was wearing a short sleeves shirt, I wiped with my bare arm instead.

A handkerchief was placed in front of me, I looked up and I saw her. Her complexion is no longer of hatred. I smiled bitterly because I don't like this current expression of her either. She looked…guilty.

I took the handkerchief from her hand and muttered a 'thank you'. I don't know what to say next, I could only looked at her, we both looked at each other awkwardly.

She is bothered for sure, she didn't say anything, I assumed she thought I'm too much of an extreme fan to the point that I cried. Then she turned and left me, I could only watch her back.

_Once again, she rejected me without words._

* * *

><p>I went back to my apartment and set up my stuffs for tomorrow exhibition. I just got a call from Makoto, I told her everything, maybe because I am desperately in need of someone to listen to my problem. She told me to just move on and don't waste my life any longer. The chance is slim she said, it might be impossible she said. Perhaps she is right.<p>

I wanted to forget everything that happened today. I am frustrated at myself and these feeling gradually became my burden. I took a bath, dried my hair then threw myself on the bed. Exhaustion overcame me as I drifted off to sleep.

Tonight, I dreamed a dream. Perhaps it is a nightmare, perhaps it is a reality. I could hear her voice again. It keeps repeating to me like a broken record.

_Himeko… please don't give up on me…_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kannazuki no Miko

Ch.3

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><p>I squinted my eyes due to the sunlight slipping through my curtain and shone right on me. I woke up with a groaned. I am not a morning person, I like to stay up late and...wake up late. How did someone like me qualified as a solar priestess is beyond my comprehension. At least Chikane-chan fitted her lunar priestess title perfectly.<p>

Even if I'm not an early bird, the morning often refreshing to me, well...not today. I'm not even start my day yet and I already felt tired, lazy, and discouraged. I decided to skip work today, I probably won't be able to put on my usual happy face to the customer anyway, it only lessen their perception of me, since I look like someone that just run a 20 miles lap without break, I barely handle two miles. Yes, I look like Makoto after her practice run, all worn out and tattered, excepted I am not sweaty nor ragged breath, I just didn't get that much sleep last night.

I remember last night, was it a dream? Or it was my unconscious desire pried its way into my mind persuading me to do what I 'wish' to do instead of facing reality? Chikane-chan pleading me not to give up on her? Yeah right...I am afraid I might be delusional.

The good thing about my work is that I don't have any exact schedules I should follow, I am my own employer, and I could set up my work pretty much anywhere. Though, I don't usually skip work, this is actually my second time I ever skip one, the first time is when I went down with a cold and decided to take a break instead.

After gulping down my humongous churn of coffee, I cooked myself an omelet to eat it with bread and butter. Unsurprisingly, I don't have much of an appetite, I ate them like I eat washed cloth. I managed to drag myself out of the apartment and took a stroll. I supposed it's a nice breather. I wanted to take my mind off of Chikane-chan, take my mind off of this desire that will not be reciprocate, take my mind off of this thumping in my heart whenever I think about my goddess...

I halted on my step to contemplate my decision.

_After all that we went through...Do I really want to give up just like that? _

The bookstore caught my attention, it located near the corner of the intersection from yesterday, the place where I first met Chikane-chan in this lifetime. I stepped inside, it was quite an old place, the books was organized on every shelves, some scattered on the floor and desks for the seller was too lax to pick them up. I turned to the rear end, a huge stack of magazines settled on the front shelves, more than half of them are about Chikane-chan. A small impulse nudged me, I couldn't help but bought one.

I don't know what I'm doing right now, if I wanted to forget about Chikane-chan, this certainly wasn't helping.

I stared at the magazine in my hand, the cover showed a photo of Chikane-chan from yesterday's concert. I decided to find a nearby café and spotted one immediately right on the opposite end of the street. The place is spacious and very clean compared to any other average one. In the background, I could faintly hear Chikane-chan's piano playing. It was the same piece from yesterday, I assumed the owner of this place love classical music.

I sat down on the far corner table, one of the waitress came to me for order. I don't really want to eat nor drink anything, but just for courtesy, I ordered hot tea with some crackers. After writing down the orders, the waitress bowed gracefully before she walked off.

I put the magazine down and started reading it. Each page talked about how successful Chikane-chan is. They talked about her accomplishment, her piano skill, her beauty, and most of all, they talked about her family status. I regretted never bother to read any newspaper or magazine before, or else I would find Chikane-chan sooner.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw a picture of Chikane-chan in a b-b-bikini. There was an irritation in my nose, it didn't took me long to notice the incoming nosebleed as I hastily swept the napkin to prevented it._ When did I became such a pervert? I swear I'm not like this before. _I partly blamed it on the hot weather. I didn't think Chikane-chan is the type to do modeling either, at least not in our past life. People change, everyone change, I cannot bind her using the excuse of 'fate' lover. This life and that life are different. I wondered if our promise have any meaning at all. However my love is not because of fate, it was simply because it is Chikane-chan that I love.

I heard a faint snicker from behind me, I turned around, my face became bright red when I realized that same waitress had been watching me looking at the magazine. _Don't tell me she saw me wiping my nose as well. _

What more, a woman watching a magazine of another woman while being all flustered about it. I hoped the waitress will take homosexual kindly.

"I see you are also a fan of Miya-sama." The waitress strode toward me for a conversation.

"Umm…I think so…?"

"You think so? I thought you are definitely one."

I guess she did saw me ogling at Chikane-chan's pictures. I quickly changed the topic. "Are you her fan?"

"Of course!" The waitress's face beamed up like a light saber. "All my acquaintances are her fans! How could anyone not be her fans!?"

"Can you tell me more about her? I don't know much about her you see..."

The waitress made a gasp. Her face was implying 'how can there be someone as clueless as you'.

"How can you not know Miya-sama!? Tsukiyo Himemiya, one of the most famous musician!"

I was sure there are many famous people I didn't know. I wouldn't be paying attention to whoever this Tsukiyo is if the woman was not Chikane-chan.

The waitress started going off in her own world, letting her own imagination of Chikane-chan rampaging her mind. I figured she is the same as those three extreme fans of Chikane-chan in our past. I didn't dare to interrupt her but willing to put up with what she had to say about my beloved, until she said things that I knew isn't true at all.

"She is perfect in everything!"

_No, she's not…but perhaps perfect in my eyes, even her flaw is perfect. _

"A lot of people wanted her talent!"

_You mean her hard work. _

"She is friendly to everyone!"

_I guess I'm the only exception._

"She surrounded by all high class people, it was amazing! It's like they are in another world."

_My only concern is whether or not they are her real friends._

"Many people envied her, jeez, she basically in a living heaven!"

_I have doubt about that. _

All the things that the waitress spouted, are things that I already heard from Mako-chan, and the things that Mako-chan said, are things that taken from the media. Those are not the info that I wanted.

After all, It was just another assumption people made from her outer appearance. Perhaps some of those is true, but the Chikane-chan I know is someone who was incredibly lonely. True, she has talent, but those won't even come close to how hard she worked. I could imagine a picture of my goddess getting annoyed of all the people surrounding her but still kept up her facade and a fake smile to drove them away. Unless she changed, it irked me that I know nothing about her in this lifetime.

I furrowed my eyebrows just by thinking about it.

"Thank you for telling me about her." I politely said to the waitress after she finished talking about Chikane-chan, then I asked her for a receipt.

"You welcome, is there anything else you need?"

"No, thank you." I shut my magazine, gulped down the remaining drink, and ate the rest of the crackers. I paid for my little dessert then strode off the café.

* * *

><p>Best things happen when you least expect it. <em>Or bad things<em>. Right when I'm about to exit the café, I bumped into someone, needless to say, I stood frozen on the spot.

She stared at me and I could already caught her incoming frown.

"Why…hello again…" She growled despite her polite word choices. "Perhaps you took your stalking a bit too far."

"What…?" Even I have my limit, this is clearly a coincidence, plus, didn't she saw me came out the door from the opposite side?

"May I ask what are you doing here in my domain?"

I blinked. "Excuse me?"

The waitress nearly scream when she saw her idol, she hastily pushed me on the side a bit and invited the Chikane-chan in.

"Wait!" I hollered after her. "This is a coincidence, I was here way before you."

Chikane-chan turned around, she took off her usual sunglasses and looked right into my amethyst eyes, maybe to confirm whether I lied or not. After a moment for our little blinking eyes contest, she finally spoke. "I must apologize then, since this is one of my shop, I assumed you were here to…" She trailed off, as if afraid what she said might offend me any further, especially since this is her own misunderstood.

The waitress glanced at me and Chikane-chan back and forth, though her posture remained the same in the presence of her employer.

Now I know why Chikane-chan assumed the way she did. I was about to apologize as well when something stop me. A side of me that screaming, begging me for some common sense and dignity. Why must I apologize again? This is not my fault, I just came out and she already lashed out at me.

"No, it's okay." I said with a smile on my face. Until I saw her staring at the floor. Oh right the magazine, it fell off from my hand when I bumped into Chikane-chan earlier.

My jaw dropped when the page turned right on the picture of my goddess in her bikini. I put a hand behind my head and averted my gaze, a full blush became visible on my cheeks. I fidgeting with my fingers, to be caught looking at the magazine by the person in the magazine itself is embarrassing. What worst, of all the page, why did it have to be that one. "I…am sorry." I could felt my inner pride kicking my head right now, but what does it matter.

A chuckle startled me. Chikane-chan with her hand on her mouth, trying to stifled her sniggering. I'm pretty sure if the waitress wasn't watching us, she would burst out laughing. In a way, I love her reaction, dropping the magazine doesn't seem to be that bad anymore.

My goddess cleared her throat, she seemed embarrass as to say this is not what she normally act. "Excuse me, as an apologize for my earlier assumption, may I treat you to something?" Her voice became gentler, perhaps, this is a chance for our first civil conversation. I accepted her offer in a heartbeat. "Of course!"

The waitress looked at me, as if to say 'you already ate', but I simply smile at her, sending her my patent 'a free meal with my goddess, who would turn this down?'. Just now was a little dessert, I wouldn't mind chugging down another parfait right now, and that's exactly what I ordered. Chikane-chan ordered a small piece of vanilla cake accompanied with hot black coffee.

I took the parfait and eat happily, not often do I get this kind of occasion, eating with Chikane-chan in a café together like this is like a dream come true. She cut a small piece of cake then raised it to her mouth. Sigh, even the way she eat is elegant.

"Ne…about this Chikane-chan, what kind of person is she?"

Her question took me by surprise. Most of all, is she asking me to describe her? If Chikane-chan has any past memory at all, or else it would be incredibly awkward.

"Chikane-chan is...a well-dressed fraud." I murmured.

Apparently she got taken aback by my answer. She arched her eyebrows, questioning me 'what does that mean?'.

"hmm...she is very conscientious, whether it for herself or for other people, I don't know. Yet, I think it have something to do with her family status, she needs to put up a front, the Chikane-chan that people often saw is a masquerade of her true self. I wondered if I will ever see her smile genuinely." _At least to me._ "But...she is very gentle, and a very lonely person. I was blinded by her facade, I should have realized that she was just a 16 years old girl like me, I...I hurt her but didn't have the chance to amend it."

"Sixteen years old?"

"I'm sorry, that was the past."

"Where is she now?"

I was on the verge of tears, but now it confirmed to me that she did not remember anything at all. So I wept throughout the rest of the dessert and avoided her question. She had no idea how much her question hurt me, shocked me through my very own being. Chikane-chan was kind enough to give me her napkin and ceased for further inquire. Just a moment ago, I wished our little conversation to last longer, but now it felt like forever, I just wanted to leave.

We finally parted way, I gave her a 'thank you' and left. I didn't even turn back to face her. I didn't dare to look back, I'm afraid that she will never remember me again.

* * *

><p>11:00 AM<p>

Chikane headed back to her mansion. The maids parted way for their mistress and bowed respectfully. "Welcome back Himemiya-sama."

Chikane nodded to their greeting, she took off her sunglasses and jacket and passed it to the head maid that standing on the side of the stair. She has blonde hair with two curly flocks settled on her shoulder.

"Otoha, please bring the 'usual' to my room."

Used to her mistress's intention, the maid simply bowed and strode off to the shelf, bringing out a box of chrysanthemum, she took out its content and brew it carefully. The tea blend has a distinctive aroma and even though her mistress changed tea type all the time, Otoha knew exactly what type her mistress wanted most during this time of the day. When she lightly knocked on her mistress's door, the other side was a soft spoken voice.

"Come in."

The head maid came in, placing the small cup of tea on her the office table. On it was a piles of files and stacked of paper waiting to be taken care of. While being a musician is one of Chikane's job, taking over her father's company was her main role that decided since the day she was born. Honest to say, she despised it. _Why can't they have another child? _Is what her inner thought complaining day after another, but never once to say it out loud.

Today, the azure hair woman was not in her usual self, her jacket tossed over the chair, hanging casually in its place. Her eyebrows knitted into a frown, and her mind had drifted to a faraway land while she looking daze as if contemplating about the hardest mystery she ever encountered. It took her a moment to finally notice the tea on her table. Chikane muttered a small 'thank' to her maid before inhaling the scent of chrysanthemum and sipping it.

Normally, it was not proper for Otoha to interrupt her mistress. Yet when that very same mistress is not in her usual self, hence it is a maid's job to show her concern.

"Is there anything I can help Himemiya-sama?"

The question did its job to roused Chikane's attention. Otoha had been her maid for years, when the older woman questioned her mistress like that, Chikane knew her own behavior was somewhat mismatched from her normal demeanor. She treated Otoha like she would treat a friend, not a personal servant. To answer a friend's concern is somehow an obligation for her. What more, she also wished for someone to heed her problem, Otoha is the perfect person for it.

"T-There is this woman that I met two days ago, she seemed like one of my fan at first, but then she doesn't seem like it."

Otoha blinked. "Are you by any chance interested in her?"

"Actually, I really hate the woman at first. I admitted, occasionally I would find my fans to be extremely annoying. However, unlike anything I ever experienced before, what I felt is pure loath toward this unknown woman...yet, there is this fear within me...fear that she will l-leave me?"

"Why are you phrased it like a question?"

"Because I don't know Otoha..."

Seeing the confused look on her maid's face. Chikane sighed heavily. She doesn't know what she is saying either. What kind of arrogant person would hate someone upon first sight? Is it because the woman cried on her shirt? No no no, it's narrow minded to hate someone just because of that.

"Do you still hate her?"

Otoha's question snapped her back to reality. Two days ago, she did hate the blonde woman. However, upon their interaction, she realized there was something else within that hatred. Whatever that is, it sure done a good job at tightening her chest into a twisted knot. In fact, their recent meeting especially at the cafe, she genuinely enjoyed the blonde woman's company.

"I don't know..."

This is a lost cause, Otoha never seen her mistress like this before. To her, Tsukiyo Himemiya is someone who always sure of her action. The woman had never hesitated in making her decision. She wants what she wants, she hates what she hates. She confined in people regarding business matter, she fully knew the opinions of many people worked better than a single person's subjective view. However, this same woman is asking her about something personal such as...relationship?

"Then do you like her?"

The azure hair woman lifted up her face to stared directly into her maid's brown orbs. She was hesitated at first, but her answer is not ambiguous this time. Chikane might not know much about human interaction, but she fully aware when she likes someone.

"I believe so"

* * *

><p>"<em>Will you not ask for forgiveness?"<em>

_The lunar priestess did not answer._

"_Will you curse your fate, Lunar Priestess?" _

_Once again, she did not answer._

_"Will you wish to rest upon nothingness over these destined parting?"_

_The lunar priestess shook her head, then she finally spoke. _

"_I was able to meet Himeko again. Therefore, I'm happy right now…more so than anyone." _

_Then she proceed through the staircase and settled herself within the Lunar Shrine. She cried for her beloved's name as the door shut itself, leaving her in complete darkness. _

_The priestess cried for Himeko's name over and over again. Dark shadows filled with sadness and sorrow began to form around the shrine. It wasn't this bad before. However, as their fate keeps repeating in cycles over and over, the anguishes formed over the century in this very shrine starting to ran amok. Even Ame no Murakumo was being drown in the despair. Fate couldn't take it anymore. Thus it decided to give the priestess another chance. The price is a huge one however. Should the priestess choose it, chance are she will lose her love forever. _


End file.
